I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
