when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
