just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
