Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
