He is an equal opportunity slut.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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