I must be too annoying 4 u.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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