Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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