That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
