I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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