Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
