at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Randomize
