Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Girls should come with a carfax report
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
