that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
