Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sext me about skeletons
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
