remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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