y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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