Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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