Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
