i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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