where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
