GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
