Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
