I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
