call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
