We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
