We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
