So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
