It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
