We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
