Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
