dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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