i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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