We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
