I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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