My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
