Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
