That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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