I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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