Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
