do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I smell like Dick and happiness
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
