I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just cut my nipple shaving
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
