Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
