her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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