I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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