"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just want to make out with him forever
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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