She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
we're so committed to being not committed
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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