is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
