what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
