If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
third nipple confirmed
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
