Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
