youre lurking in front of me
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize