sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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