Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
