He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
