oh god the rape fog is back!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize