you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
