You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
