He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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