i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
