if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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