their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
