If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Damn victory sex feels great
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize