My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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