My Higher Power is John Stamos
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
