she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
