you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
