How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
