Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
