when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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