He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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