paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
